That scene where Samwick is hanging on, bleeding and thinking they might crash it got me. I liked the part where he tries to shift his weight and everything goes dark for a second. And with Fendry, I liked how she slowly walked up to the Kingsbeast, talking to it like she talks to horses. The moment it knelt when she asked. That was such a sweet little surprise. You did a nice job keeping it real and easy to picture.
I liked how we were thrown right into without exposition, It made me read quickly because I wanted to understand what was happening.
I think having a quick description of what kind of battle Samwick is in the middle of early on would be nice. I wasn't sure if he was being pursued by other flying beasts when you mention the flecks all around, or if there's a larger battle occurring in both air and on the ground with mention of quarrels being shot.
I liked the switch to Fendrys pov, it leaves you wondering what happened to samwick. Her internal dialogue of comparing the beast to a horse and her concern for it displayed her personality right off
That scene where Samwick is hanging on, bleeding and thinking they might crash it got me. I liked the part where he tries to shift his weight and everything goes dark for a second. And with Fendry, I liked how she slowly walked up to the Kingsbeast, talking to it like she talks to horses. The moment it knelt when she asked. That was such a sweet little surprise. You did a nice job keeping it real and easy to picture.
I liked how we were thrown right into without exposition, It made me read quickly because I wanted to understand what was happening.
I think having a quick description of what kind of battle Samwick is in the middle of early on would be nice. I wasn't sure if he was being pursued by other flying beasts when you mention the flecks all around, or if there's a larger battle occurring in both air and on the ground with mention of quarrels being shot.
I liked the switch to Fendrys pov, it leaves you wondering what happened to samwick. Her internal dialogue of comparing the beast to a horse and her concern for it displayed her personality right off
I loved the way the Kingsbeast responded to her, that moment felt magical. Looking forward to chapter 2.
I also have a personal question about the story that I left in your inbox. I hope you can check it out.